Waouh that is my first Younix. The picture was taken Septembre 6, 2014 on the roof of the IMA, Institut du Monde Arabe, ( Institute of the Arab world) a unique view over Paris. A first time for me. Sometimes just changing of point of view makes all the difference.
My photographers are from Cologne, Germany, both 31. Tim is a salesmanager for hospitality and Douglas is a journalist and they are celebrating their first wedding anniversary. They love and respect each other... Tim took my picture but wanted Doug to be with him on the one I took.
What a coincidence, I am a formerjournalist and it is for me an anniversary too. A notorious one ; last year I discovered my boyfriend betrayed me. As a friend said, forgive but do not forget.
I try to understand the humiliation one feels about being betrayed in love... It's not just your boyfriend mixing fluids with some other body, getting a few inches deep, and the endorphines. Cheating happens. We all know men want to spread their seed to prevent the extinction of the species. Of course, fooling around happens to women too.
Betrayal is more than sex. It is when someone tells you he adores you and you are so unique, and suddenly makes you feel common, killing the magic. I can feel close to Valerie Trierweiller, the ex companion of our President Hollande, who just published « Merci pour ce moment », revealing her intimate life with François Hollande at the worst political time.
She was cheated on for a year and was turned into the castrating harpy by the French Press. Always remember, behind the jealous person, there is often someone who in the beginning nags and rejoices in it.. It is a weird process, to reassure themselves some people need to make their partner insecure and generate the vicious circle. She saw him lying to other people and realised he was lying to her too.
When a man like François Hollande declared publicly that Valerie Trieweiller was the woman of his life, and she discovered she was disposable, it naturally hurt.
It hurt violently.
On the same subject, this week-end I just saw a hilarious off track movie, « The Obvious Child » which also starts with a betrayal : a young stand up comedian discovers her worst fear realised when her boyfriend quits her for her best friend. She leaves terrible and exhilarating messages on her ex-boyfriend's voicemail, gets drunk, and shouts angrily.
What makes people suffer ? There is pride of course, self-esteem, what the French call « amour propre » (with a double meaning, Propre means self and clean at the same time)... But not only.
Betrayal once again murders the innocent one inside of each of us, the one who used to believe in Santa Claus...
I remember my son crying for one hour when he discovered Santa was just according to my very intellectual wording « a metaphore of people 's generosity and that it is glorious moment when you owe nothing to no one, you should enjoy... »
To tell you the truth, I had been caught in the act – playing Santa, many time, had had to eat raw carrots, pretended the elves drunk the milk, left foottrack in ashes to proove my stories. I even managed well when a friend of my son said : « Come on, Catherine, Santa Claus does not exist » I replied very mischievously to that obnoxious child ready to ruin everything : « unfortunately for you, young man, now that you do no longer believe in Santa, your parents will have to go shopping ( making him feel guilty, I hope), while Ben will have his presents delivered by the elves » . And my son, very assertive, replied : « If it were the parents paying, I would get nothing for my mum is broke... »( thank you for telling everybody by the way !).
My children were nine years old, when I let the cat out of the bag. All lies come to the surface at some point. Actually I did not want to break the bad news for my daughter Alice, because I thought she would suffer more, but I forgot it was Santa who brought her scooters and complained it was expensive for such a poor quality. And she laughed... « It was you... I thought Santa's writing looked a bit the tooth fairy's... And started wondering who could be both» I was uncovered agent. But it was another story with her twin brother, Benjamin cried rivers and rivers « You lied to us » and could not stop... I felt so miserable to have broken his heart. And trust.
Then before giving him time to forgive and understand I found the magic trick.
« Ben, you remember you wanted pocket money and I said no you are too young... Here is some compensation for getting older... ». I was a bit manipulative, it was a poor compensation for such sorrow and for the breach of trust, but it did the trick. So I hope Valerie Trierweiller makes a lot of money selling her book. But, as the father advises his desperate daughter in « the Obvious Child », the best revenge is to live and to feel unique again